


Effacement

by sunaddicted



Series: The way you said "I love you" [14]
Category: DCU (Comics), Justice League - All Media Types
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Study, Dark, Dubious Consent, Implied/Referenced Torture, Justice Lords Universe, M/M, Relationship Study, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:47:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27195331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunaddicted/pseuds/sunaddicted
Summary: Bruce looked back and he couldn't point out when the other man had lost himself - because he had been loosing himself too, clouded by grief and love.
Relationships: Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne, Lord Batman/Lord Superman (Justice Lords Universe)
Series: The way you said "I love you" [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1573432
Kudos: 47





	Effacement

**Author's Note:**

> "in a way I can't return"
> 
> Effacement: the act or process of effacing or eliminating something, especially: reduction to insignificance.

_ Effacement _

There was something diseased in the way his brain refused to take in his own reflection whenever he was wearing the Justice Lord Batman suit; it was as if it was trying to protect him through distortion, making the image in the mirror unclear and foggy - too hazy for Bruce to look at without an ache starting to gather at his temples. 

It was easier to avert his gaze.

It was easier to stay ignorant.

Even if it was  _ wrong _ .

Bruce shrugged off the cape and tugged away the cowl, letting the silver fabric pool at his feet without any kind of regard: every wrinkle was a frisson of satisfaction that ran down his spine; every stain was defiance twisting his guts so hard that it almost hurt; every tear was a trembling eshale of liberation that made his shoulders sag.

It was an empty rebellion - it didn't actually do anything to help the people that were being slowly suffocated under Superman's authoritarian regime - but it made him feel slightly better: it helped him to get out of bed in the morning and don the mask in the desperate hope that he woud catch an opening to do something to change things. 

To free people.

Even when he wasn't free himself.

"Alfred isn't here to clean up after you, Bruce"

"I know" even if he hadn't been too ashamed to go home and look the man who had raised him in the eyes, Bruce would have stayed away from the manor - from Gotham - in any case, in order to protect his family: he didn't want them anywhere near the multi-headed monster that the Justice League had become.

It wasn't like he was needed back home anyway.

Bile surged up his throat at the memory of what Superman had done to the Rogues -  _ his _ Rogues; they weren't good people in the least but lobotomizing them... they could have been rehabilitated - Bruce had even managed to nudge them towards that direction here and there; it had never stuck, that was true, but it wasn't a reason to just stop trying to help them. No matter how much pain they had caused (no matter how many times he had imagined the Joker's body broken beneath his own very hands - just as broken as his son's body had been), there was no justice or reward into being just as monstruos - into letting death and violence and abuse win.

At least, Bruce knew that he hadn't felt anything but horror and pity at the sight of those people reduced to shells - to empty bodies.

And guilt too - he was constantly plagued by guilt.

No matter the fact that he hadn't known about most of Superman's drastic measures until after they had already been implemented, it didn't erase the fact that his inaction made him just as guilty.

"Pick them up, Bruce"

He couldn't remember the last time someone besides Alfred had ever tried to intimidate him into picking up after himself but in the past few months Bruce had learnt a lesson: one just didn't disobey one of Superman's orders unless they were willing to risk being maimed before they could explain the reasoning behind their refusal and hope it would be sound to the other's ears or face punishment. 

It had taken a while for him to learn it - a while and many bruises that he would have to carefully conceal beneath the new uniform that felt downright suffocating every time he put it on, as if the material inexorably tightened around his body like a snake slowly squeezing the life out of him or a spider weaving a deadly cocoon around his body. Of course, he didn't even need to be that careful around his teammates: everyone was perfectly aware of what went on behind any door that Superman closed behind Bruce's back, trapping them in together - still, he couldn't bring himself to be blatantly vulnerable in their eyes.

" _ Bruce _ "

Bruce had never known the other's voice could have such a cutting edge to it before Barry had died in front of them.

He bent down to retrieve the uniform, making a show out of shaking the wrinkles out before he went to the wardrobe so that he could hang it up, the upside being that at least it would be hidden from view - a skeleton in the closet for him to ignore until the following morning rolled by and he had to don the suit back on. There was no reason for the Bat to hide in the shadow of night anymore, nor it was likely to be rushed out of bed for an emergency - crime might not have been fully eradicted yet but it  _ globally _ was at its lowest levels ever; besides, what even was considered a crime those days, it was mostly people banding up to fight against the authoritarian regime the Justice Lords had imposed on them - terrorists, in Superman's words.

Bruce looked back and he couldn't point out when the other man had lost himself - because he had been loosing himself too, clouded by grief and love.

"How about we take a bath?"

"Sure" even if he hadn't wanted to, it just was easier to follow along: there was no use in wasting energies and risking his life for something as little as agreeing to taking a bath with the other man, little rebellions wouldn't get him any results - especially not now that he had started to look deeper into the better organized insurgency groups to see if there was anything he could do, resourches he could subtly send their way... he had to be careful, though: with J'onn around, his thoughts weren't safe.

"Tense?"

Bruce forced his shoulders to relax beneath the other's hands "Yes, I'm sorry" it was best to stay as close to the truth as possible "I'm still thinking about work"

"What about it?" Kal asked, leading Bruce into the warm water, folding him against his chest before the other man could have the time to move to the other side of the tub; he hated it when Bruce put space between them, it felt innatural when he could easily have him within reach - alive, warm, manageable.

His lover was formidable but he had to be kept under control, to ensure that he didn't stray; conforming to the new order of things had been the hardest for him but Kal knew that he just needed to wait and see the results - until his children wouldn't need to be on the streets anymore; until his beloved Gotham was a completely changed place; until no other boy would have to go through seeing his parents murdered right in front of his eyes.

He just had to keep Bruce close and faithful to the cause until the moment came, keep him from ruining things out of his sense of justice.

Kal slightly tightened his hold on the other man, relishing in the way Bruce felt  _ whole _ beneath his fingers: he couldn't even remember the last time Bruce had gotten injured on a mission and it made him feel good, the knowledge that he was keeping the man he loved safe.

"The terrorists"

Kal knew Bruce preferred calling them rebels but that was alright, he would recognise them for what they were once he had had the chance to study their incursions and plans - that was why he had put the other man to the task. That and the fact that objectively, out of all of them, Batman had always been the best when it came to staking out an objective and minutiously unfolding all of their secrets until they were naked, flesh flayed back to reveal quivering muscles "Are you worried?"

"Aren't you?"

Kal shrugged "I have my best man on it - why should I worry?" he murmured, bestowing a kiss behind the other's ear "You'll close in on them, I know you will" despite everything - Bruce's rebellious nature; Bruce's sense of right and wrong; Bruce's innate dangerousness - Kal couldn't help trusting him; sure, he needed to keep him under surveillance but one day he wouldn't need to.

One day soon, hopefully.

"It's long work"

"I know"

"You said-"

He nipped Bruce in the very same spot he had kissed, stopping the flowing of his words before he could get worked up "I said I want regular updates, not that I want immediate results" obviously, the updates would have to show him that Bruce truly was working the case, rather than stretching it on and on for whatever reason: he couldn't afford letting his lover be seduced to the other side "Now relax" he murmured, rubbing his cheek along the other's neck; Bruce had always smelled so good - there wasn't even one of his superhumanly heightened senses that had ever been indiffirent to the other's presence, as if he was some kind of intoxicating drug he couldn't do without.

Like the yellow Sun that made him nearly invincible.

"Easier said than done"

"Well, I think I can help" 

Bruce's heart sped up as the other's hand slid down his stomach to nestle between his thighs - whether out of fear or out of arousal, he wasn't sure. He swallowed, on the edge with discomfort "We'll dirty the water"

"We'll take a shower after"

"But-"

Kal tightened his grip on Bruce's cock - painfully so: it was evident in the subtle way his lover stiffened against his chest, muscles trembling with the effort of not clamping up too hard - as if Bruce could hide from him.

As if Bruce could keep any secrets.

He let out a pleased hum when Bruce finally gave up, going lax against his chest "Good,  _ good _ "

One day, he wouldn't struggle anymore.

" _ I love you, Bruce _ "

One day, his lover would say it back again.


End file.
